11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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