i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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