It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
