Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
