In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
