i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
