HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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