Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
