There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
