What did we do last night that was yellow?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
