In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
