Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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