lets start a swedish sibling band together
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
