Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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