I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
