butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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