So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
