We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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