a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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