I wanna bring you to show and tell
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Randomize
