sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
