I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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