You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
