hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
