shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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