i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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