I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm both gender and math confused
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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