I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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