At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
