You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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