I think my fart just growled at me.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
