I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
