I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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