Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
