yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
