When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
