Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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