You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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