Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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