I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
