I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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