is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
