I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
