Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Its about making memories worth repressing
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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