Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
