U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
