i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
