dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i was born a porn star she said
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
my poor anus
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
