I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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