Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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