Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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